The Eleven Commandments of a Bachelor Party

The eleven commandments of a good bachelor party was designed as guidelines for those out there who are less experienced with throwing a kick ass bachelor party. Some of them may seem obvious but are often times overlooked by the less experienced bachelor party planners. Follow these guidelines and your party members are destined to have a good time.

1. Thou Shalt Have Lots of Booze- This is the most important commandment. If you don't have enough alcohol to kill a horse, bear and three hippos you are doing this commandment wrong.
2. Thou Shalt Have Strippers- Ladies...deal with it. There must be strippers at a bachelor party. If the grooms wife to be says no to strippers, DON'T LISTEN! If the grooms wife says she is going to break the whole wedding off if she finds out there are strippers, DON'T LISTEN! Strippers are a natural part of a bachelor party and you need them whether the old ball and chain says so or not.
3. Thou Shalt Have Lots of Food- There must be as much artery clogging, high fat, calorie, meaty food as humanly possible. This is the last night the groom can eat whatever he wants without the wife constantly nagging about how, "he's gotten fat" or the constant complains about how he, "eats the worst food." Enjoy this commandment as much as possible. 
4. Thou Shalt NOT Invite That One Guy Everyone Hates-  As the great Dane Cook once said, "there is always that one person in the group that nobody likes." This fact is unavoidable and no you may not invite this person out of pity.
5. Thou Shalt NOT Invite "The Buzz Kill"- Again, in every group there is always that one person who says, "guize we shouldn't be doing this" in that annoying childish voice. Do NOT invite this person.
6. Thou Shalt Have A Designated Driver/Taxi/Limo- Everyone is there to have fun, not die.
7. Thou Shalt NOT Break The Silence Agreement- Everyone at the beginning of a bachelor party everyone must agree that whatever happens during the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party, for the sake of the groom and all other married men. If you break this agreement what happens to you is up to the group. The standard protocol is that the betrayer must be exiled from the group but in the olden days the betrayer would have his tongue cut out....the choice is up to the group. 
8. Thou Shalt Get Kicked Out of Somewhere- Whether it's Wal*Mart, a strip club or Mcdonalds, you must get kicked out of somewhere at least once.
9. Thou Shalt Bail The Groom Out of Jail- If the groom happens to end up in jail everyone must do anything to get him out. 
10. Thou Shalt Do Stupid Things But Don't Be an Idiot- Don't kill anyone, get into fights, get killed, commit suicide thinking you will re-spawn like in Halo, or do anything that will get you thrown into jail for more than a month. Yes you can have fun but don't be an idiot.  
11. Thou Shall Have Lots of Asprin and Tylenol- The morning is going to be rough. You are going to need as much painkillers as possible to make it through the next day.

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